Until we understand the problem of being a 'victim', there appears to be only three choices in life:
- Being a VICTIM
- Being a BULLY or ABUSER
- Being a 'RESCUER' or 'HELPER'
NONE OF US CAN STAND TO BE THE VICTIM (V) ALL THE TIME so we either become a BULLY (B) and pick on someone else (which is where the phrase "the pecking order" comes in) or we become a RESCUER or HELPER (H) and we try to make it "alright" for others in the hope that nothing else nasty will happen to us! (It makes us feel more powerful than being a victim.)
ALL 3 ARE ESSENTIALLY 'UNHEALTHY' RELATIONSHIPS

Next page: How assertive are you?


