What it really means
If you are assertive it DOES NOT mean that you have to be aggressive, nasty, horrid, a bully, mean or selfish.
An assertive person is really saying to the world: "I treat people decently, fairly and with respect... and I expect to be treated the same way by the rest of the world. If I am treated poorly or badly by someone, I am capable of telling them that I am unhappy and of asking them to treat me properly. If they continue to treat me poorly, I will warn them that this continued unpleasant behaviour will eventually make me angry.
If they continue, I will become angry and will warn them that if their behaviour continues it will result in me no longer tolerating them in my life and that this will be their choice.
What it really boils down to is: If someone continues to abuse your good nature, they do not really care about you - so, why have them in your life? Nobody deserves to be bullied or abused.
Next page: Understanding the Problem
Special thanks to Mr. Peter C.K. Smith for his much welcomed contribution to this section of our website and his continued support.